Deep chat - Mental illness

Guess who's back?? Apologies for my absence recently I have been tackling quite a few things in my personal life meaning that my mind has been pretty busy,but after a little break I feel ready to get blogging properly again.

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Anyway,todays post is quite deep and very personal to me. As you may (or may not) know about two years ago I suffered from depression and although I am generally quite a happy bubbly person now I still sometimes feel it creeping back in and so I just wanted to try and explain to people what depression is so that you understand it a bit better and if anyone is going through this I hope it helps - just remember that you are not on your own.

The only way I can describe depression is like a dark cloud,that fills up my mind and makes me think horrible thoughts about how worthless and unlovable I am,even though people tell you that you are loved sometimes it doesn't help as I can believe what the depression is saying instead.I hate it when people ask me if i'm ok because my answer will be yes,but in reality it is a big fat no because depression can make you feel ashamed to admit that you're struggling with the day . Sometimes I can overreact and get upset or angry about the smallest of things and when people ask what's wrong i'll just make something up,but it won't be because I forgot to do something,it will be because I feel like i'm losing control of my mind.

Depression can make me feel tired,sometimes it's so bad that I just want to sit there and cry,I can lay awake at night just worrying about the smallest most pointless things.Sometimes it can take every bit of motivation to get up in the morning as I can't see the point of the day and even though I am thankful for every new day they can scare me because I think 'will I cope?'

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There will be lots of times where I feel like i'm a let down and that are people are better off without me.Sometimes I can go months without even thinking these thoughts and i'm so happy,but there will be other times where I can think this every second of the day and it is so horrible.

I know that for people that haven't gone through depression it can be hard to understand and help people,but just listen to them and be there.Hold them close and although on the cloudy days it is most likely that they won't believe you when you say that you love them,please never stop telling them.

With depression it is so unpredictable because some days I can be so happy and then other days I can be anxious and so low about myself. I wish I could have more of the happy days though that is slowly becoming a reality. If you are suffering from depression please:

Talk to someone about it

It can be hard to talk to people about having depression and even though you do want to talk about it depression seems to force you into silence whenever you try,but you just need to find that freedom to be able to share it.Depression is nothing to be ashamed of.

Surround yourself with supportive people

At this time you need the people that make you laugh and support you the most.They will help you get through it no matter what.The last thing you need is a negative person making you feel even worse about yourself.

Do things that make you feel good

Try to do the things that you use to love .Push yourself to do things,you might not want to go out,but once you are outside in the world it can be surprising how much better you might feel.

To everyone going through depression please talk to someone about it and get help,I did and it is really helping me to feel better about myself.Also remember that you are not alone and on the days where it feels horrible and like your on your own trust me that it will get better.

If anyone wants has any questions or wants to have a chat about depression or just anything please feel free to email or direct message me on twitter